SOUTH PARK ZONE
Medicinal Fried Chicken
New state laws prohibiting fast food restaurants in low-income neighborhoods result in the closure of all KFC eateries in Colorado, much to the dismay of Cartman, who is addicted to the food and starts a fried chicken cartel to get his fix. Meanwhile, Randy Marsh learns a former KFC outlet has become a medical cannabis dispensary, and he attempts to give himself cancer to get a doctor’s referral for medicinal marijuana, which he succeeds to do.
South Park Spoiler Alert! (The complete plot for this South Park Episode)
New state laws prohibiting fast food restaurants in low-income neighborhoods result in the closure of all KFC eateries in Colorado, much to the dismay of Cartman, who is addicted to the food. When Randy learns that South Park’s KFC outlet is now a medicinal marijuana dispensary, he attempts to give himself cancer so he can get a doctor’s referral for marijuana (after first gaining a clean bill of health from his doctor since he had assumed permits are given to the healthy). By irradiating his groin with a microwave oven, Randy successfully gives himself testicular cancer, making his testicles so large that he has to use a wheelbarrow to carry them. Randy obtains his medical referral and starts smoking marijuana regularly. Meanwhile, his testicles continue to grow to the point that he uses them as a space hopper for movement. Randy finds that larger testicles are attractive to women, so he encourages his friends to also get testicular cancer. The local doctor, unaware of the men’s self-irradiation, becomes convinced that a recent change in South Park is responsible for the cancer outbreak. Meanwhile, Cartman has literally started to go into withdrawal. He tries to attend a methadone clinic but is disappointed when he only receives a small paper cup full of gravy. Wandering the streets aimlessly, he meets a boy named Tommy, who introduces him to Billy Miller, a local boy who runs a small KFC cartel from his home. After Cartman demonstrates his ruthlessness against a cheating street dealer as well as paying his turf to Billy as promised, Billy sends him to Corbin to buy chicken directly from Colonel Sanders. Tommy accompanies Cartman, but he is revealed to be an informant for healthy foods advocate Jamie Oliver and executed by the Colonel’s men by hanging him from a helicopter exactly like the scene from Scarface. Cartman wins over the Colonel’s trust, but is warned to never betray him: “Just remember, I only tell you one time. Don’t fuck me, Eric. Don’t you ever try to fuck me.” Cartman eventually betrays Billy by telling Billy’s mother that he got an F on his social studies test, and takes over the cartel after Billy is grounded. The Colonel assigns Cartman the task of assassinating Oliver to prevent him from giving a speech in the United Nations. However, Cartman immediately disregards the Colonel’s order and starts eating much of the chicken supplied to him for distribution, putting the operation in danger. The Colonel, furious at Cartman’s betrayal, sends a squad of gunmen to kill him in retaliation. A firefight between the gunmen and police then breaks out at the cartel headquarters, and Billy’s mother is killed in the crossfire, but Cartman escapes unscathed. Randy’s testicles grow so large that he is unable to fit through the doors of the marijuana dispensary. Prohibited by law from purchasing marijuana outside the premises, Randy and the other self-irradiated men begin protesting for larger dispensary doors. As some politicians present start to discuss ways to get around the problem, the dispensary owner simply suggests that marijuana be legalized, arguing that “people are just abusing this medicinal system anyway.” The doctor interrupts by claiming the recent ban on KFC had led to the rise in testicular cancer because the chicken somehow prevented the illness. Colorado bans marijuana once again and reopens KFC, which has now been re-branded as “Medicinal Fried Chicken.” Randy has his cancerous testicles removed and replaced with prosthetic ones, and has the skin from his removed enlarged scrotum made into a new coat for Sharon.
SOUTH PARK ZONE Medicinal Fried Chicken New state laws prohibiting fast food restaurants in low-income neighborhoods result in the closure of all KFC eateries in Colorado, much to the dismay
Medicinal Fried Chicken
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|“The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs”||“Medicinal Fried Chicken“||“You Have 0 Friends”|
“Medicinal Fried Chicken” is the third episode of Season Fourteen and the 198th overall episode of South Park. It aired on March 31, 2010. 
Cartman’s favorite restaurant, Kentucky Fried Chicken, has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medical marijuana to cancer patients. Cartman will do anything to get his beloved fried chicken back. Meanwhile, Randy gives himself testicular cancer so he can get a prescription card to buy pot.
Plot details follow.
Stan, Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman are at soccer practice, during which Cartman yet again manages to avoid playing by claiming he has a stomach ache, much to the annoyance of the soccer coach. After soccer, the boys are picked up by Randy who takes them to KFC during which, Kyle points out that Cartman only goes to soccer on Friday because of the fact they go to KFC afterward. However, the boys are shocked to realize that KFC has been replaced by a medicinal marijuana store. Realizing that pot is now legal, Randy is overjoyed and attempts to purchase some, only to be told that he would need a doctor’s prescription. Cartman meanwhile is infuriated by the fact that the only KFC in South Park is now completely gone.
Randy rushes to the doctors in the hope of getting a prescription for the marijuana for being healthy, however, the doctor pointedly informs him that only those who are sick are allowed the prescription, mainly AIDS and cancer patients. Randy spends the next few days attempting to give himself cancer through assorted means such as tanning, smoking, and taking X-rays just so he can obtain marijuana legally. He eventually purchases a book about cancer, using it in the hopes that it will give him pointers. At last, he finds out that one of the most aggressive types of cancer is testicular cancer, which can be obtained by a large dose of radiation. He then puts his genitals in the microwave.
Meanwhile, Cartman and his mother travel to a neighboring town, hoping to appease Cartman’s KFC addiction. However, that KFC is also closed, and the construction men there inform Cartman that all of the KFC’s have been shut down because of a new law which bans fast food from being sold in low-income areas, and since KFC was ‘only’ in low-income areas, in the entire state of Colorado, Kentucky Fried Chicken is illegal. Upon hearing this, his head explodes. Soon after, Cartman begins to experience withdrawal symptoms of his addiction and visits a Methadone Clinic to get over his KFC addiction. They make the attempt by offering him a paper-cup full of a KFC gravy, which he drinks greedily, after a brief protest about the lack of anything else.
The next day Randy wakes up (much to his delight and Sharon’s horror) to find that his scrotum and testicles have enlarged to huge proportions. Lab tests at the doctor’s office confirm that Randy has testicular cancer. While the doctor is intent on giving him treatment for his cancer, Randy only has one thing on his mind, and thus finally gets a prescription for medicinal marijuana. Putting his testicles in a wheelbarrow to move them, he rushes to the pot store to fill the prescription and proceeds to smoke it in front of Officer Barbrady and his half-brother Jimbo.
On the way back from methadone clinic Cartman finds out on the playground that a boy named Billy Miller has KFC. Cartman goes to see him where he is treated to KFC popcorn chicken, but then Billy charges him $85, which is money that Cartman doesn’t have. In order to pay off his debt, Billy suggests that Cartman work as a mule to smuggle KFC into Colorado. Cartman proceeds to take the job, acting like he’s purchasing drugs. When he tastes the gravy, he realizes that it’s been cut with Boston Market gravy and threatens to shoot the dealer for his attempts at cheating him. Officer Barbrady appears to check on the commotion, but Cartman assures him that everything is fine, despite the KFC behind him, and the cowering drug dealer in front of him.
Meanwhile, as Randy is pushing his wheelbarrow after picking up his daily weed, it tips over. He is unable to recover, but then, to his drugged-out amusement, finds out he can use his testicles like a hoppity-hop, bouncing around town. Later while playing cards with his friends and smoking weed, Randy is shown to be sitting on his balls as a chair and praising the pot, while denying his friends any. He then tells the men that ever since his balls got bigger, women have started to notice. He also claims that women love huge balls (an obvious opposition to the fact that men like large breasts).
Cartman delivers the money and KFC to Billy who tells him that he’s rather good at getting KFC in Colorado and will team up with Tommy and go to Kentucky to meet Colonel Sanders, who is alive and well on South Park. Upon meeting the Colonel, the plan to smuggle larger quantities of KFC into Colorado begins. Tommy is revealed to be a spy working for Jamie Oliver and is subsequently hung out of a plane by a rope tied around his neck, killing him. Cartman then makes a deal with the Colonel, who warns Cartman not to “fuck him”. Upon returning to South Park, Cartman overthrows Billy in running the KFC smuggling operation, by telling Billy’s parents that Billy got an ‘F’ on his Social Studies test.
Every man in South Park is intentionally getting testicular cancer to obtain marijuana and huge testicles. Randy’s balls are growing larger and larger as time passes. Sharon notices and wants more sex. Randy tries to get more weed but can no longer fit through the door of the medicinal marijuana store. Randy is informed that it is still illegal to purchase weed outside of an approved store, and subsequently starts a protest with the picket chant “What do we want? Bigger doors! Where do we want them? Weed stores!”.
To exaggerate Cartman’s addiction to KFC, he starts cutting chicken skins into strips and snorts them. However, Cartman’s addiction keeps him from doing proper work for the Colonel, who does not like to be “fucked” with. As such, he sends his goon-squad to take out Cartman and his operation. The cops then arrive at Billy’s house to stop the operation, resulting in a massive gun battle, with Billy’s mother being killed and Cartman quietly slipping away.
Because of the events of the past few months, weed becomes re-illegalized. Meanwhile, the local doctor comes to the belief that KFC apparently has some sort of medicinal property, because of the fact that men didn’t get testicular cancer when it was around. Thus KFC is once again made legal in Colorado, with the new store title of Medicinal Fried Chicken. Randy and the other men all have their cancerous testicles removed and replaced with prostheses that are the same size as normal testicles. Although Randy tolerates the change, Sharon is noticeably disappointed. However, Randy had the extra skin made into a coat and gives it to his delighted wife, while other women become jealous of Sharon’s new “scrotum coat”.
In an edited scene, Cartman is shown throwing a rage fit in class.
List of all South Park episodes "Medicinal Fried Chicken" is the third episode of Season Fourteenand the 198th overall episode of South Park. It aired on March 31, 2010.1 Cartman's favorite restaurant, Kentucky Fried Chicken, has been shut down and replaced by a store that sells medical…